My Spouse Diagnosed Me with a Mental Health Problem | Dr Teralyn Sell and Therapist Jenn Schmitz

On this episode of The Gaslit Truth Podcast, Dr. Teralyn Sell and I tackled something I see ALL THE TIME in my therapy office:

Spouses diagnosing each other.

Let me say this clearly—stop pretending you’re a therapist. You’re not. And your partner is not your case study.

When you label them, push meds, send them podcasts, or demand they “do the work,” that’s not support. That’s control dressed up as concern. And it kills trust and intimacy.

So many partners come in convinced: If they’d just get treated, we’d be fine. But what if the symptoms improve and you’re still resentful? Still critical? The Gottman Institute has long warned us—contempt and chronic criticism predict divorce, not diagnoses.

And let’s talk about the medication mandate. Antidepressants aren’t a relationship repair strategy. In fact, they ruin more marriages than they help. They can blunt emotion, impact libido, and shift connection. That requires informed consent—not an ultimatum.

If you’ve caught yourself thinking, Fix yourself so I can be happy, I say this with love: that’s not intimacy.

What works better?
Own your side.
Make specific agreements.
Set clear boundaries.
Go to therapy for you—not to weaponize a label against your spouse.

Choose curiosity over control. It will take you much further and protect your marriage. Want to know more? Click below and listen now!